Learning who you can and can't trust - Donnas journals
  • Tue. Sep 27th, 2022

Over the past few years, I have learned you really can’t trust people. You be nice and it is all lies to them. People will do anything behind your back and not actually care. Apparently, I am supposed to have casual sex. It is annoying and I would like to make it clear, not ever have I. My last relationship lasted 24 years. I don’t know what it is that people are hiding, but they all have past secrets. Now I have learned to just ignore them and get on with my own life. It taught me that family are the worst they will stab you in the back without a second thought.

When someone has betrayed you being able to trust them again can be very difficult and sometimes even impossible. If you choose to trust this person again you are opening yourself up to additional pain if they betray you again. Your first step in learning how to trust someone after being betrayed is to decide if you want to trust them again. There are ways that you can begin to trust after betrayal.

After you have been betrayed

After you have been betrayed you must decide if you want to trust again. You should make a list of the reason you do not currently trust people. After you have your list you need to rate each item. Rate the items using a scale from 1-3 depending of the importance of the trust issue to you. You should consider your selections very carefully. The items of the highest severity are almost impossible to overcome and may prevent you from being able to trust again.

After betrayal, even when you have moved on, your relationships may change. The change could be that your relationship has grown stronger or you may find that the relationship worsens.

What I learned

I have nowadays learned to allow myself time to heal and talk to who has betrayed me. Be honest about your feelings and exactly what they need to do to regain your trust. If you are ever going to move forward and be able to trust again you have to set standards, not tests, in order for your trust to be retained after betrayal.

Determining whether you want to trust someone after you have been betrayed and then taking the steps to forgive and move forward is the key for you to be able to trust again after you have been betrayed.

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