I am not sure what surrendering actually is to you all but for me, surrendering is not the same as being passive. Passivity tends to imply letting things happen, defeat. Being passive means going through life without applying our personal power. Surrender invokes equanimity. Life deals us change. How we go through the change, use it, harness its power, is up to us. We must own up to our courage along with our fear. It is helpful to learn the nuances of surrender.
The first major change came in my life at age 24, after realizing that I never belonged in my own family. I grew up in foster care and met my now it turns out not dad, but that is another post, but it came after realizing I just didn’t fit in, i was raised with different values and found it too late to get to know my real parents. The past was too much, then I found out his wife who was a lovely woman past away and he didn’t tell me. Which made me see even more that I didn’t belong to him.
Anyone who has gone through losing a loved one will know that we start to drift until we find that anchor. Learning to play the guitar was that for me and nowadays I say Tai chi also helps me. I surrendered myself to the enormity of creativeness. At 17, I left my childhood home for a new beginning, when my foster parents decided to emigrate to Canada. I surrendered to the compelling need to become someone new. Me and my husband at the time decided to make made a decision to pack up and move across to Ireland. I made a choice to start over. I call it my “big surrender.”
My life experiences have taught me not to struggle but to surrender. Not unlike a tree, swaying to the force of the wind, I have learned to yield to life’s challenges with a posture of strength.
Pema Chodron, one of my favorite spiritual teachers, talks about bravery in times of challenges and change. In her audio book, Unconditional Confidence, Pema says, “we need to be able to tap into genuine confidence.” To be genuine, such confidence must come from deep within us. Perhaps we are like the Cowardly Lion. He was courageous all along, but he didn’t know it until he tapped into his genuine confidence.
The word surrender has been misunderstood. Too often it is mistaken as giving up, defeat. But it really isn’t the case. What will be, will be. I have found surrender to be empowering, allowing me to go through the inevitable. I like challenges and new beginnings. I find what is yours will always remain yours because only you are you.