Would it be good or bad to be a hamster? With Covid 19 it is like we are all stuck in a cage anyway. Spining around in our little balls. I had wrote in my offline journal a couple years ago that I wanted to have the humility to be open and willing to walk my life’s path cheerfully and courageously. I felt it was time to drop off and shed the things that hinder (Hebrews 12:1) and step out faithfully, trusting that God will guide my steps to a dance and my heart to sing. I wanted to become a WOMAN! I was already a daughter, already a wife, already a mother, but it was my time to define myself as a woman. And not just any woman, but the woman I wanted to be, a mature woman. I have an image of myself carrying forward the body I had in my 20s (my mom did it, and so can I), the fun-loving nature that my friends enjoyed from me while I was in University (I was much more serious before and after that time), the gentleness of wisdom and accepting others where they are at, and the confidence of knowing I am not a liar to myself or others and I am doing not only what I believe in, but what I say.
Recently I had a discussion and as I was reflecting on the things that were shared, realizing that we need to always be living in the truth. The real truth. What is happening at this very moment. What daily truths are you creating for yourself to live in? What “mistakes” from the past or former habits do you bring forward to define yourself? Are you telling yourself that you always fail, or always screw things up or ALWAYS (fill in the blank)? Do you keep running through the same things when you are trying to make a change in your life, winding up staying the same?
If you are seeking, wanting, longing for changes in your life, but things don’t seem to be changing, how are you looking at the situation and what actions have you taken that are different from what you have been doing? Do you find that you’re running in circles? Get off the hamster wheel and start running on the road of life. A few years ago I got off my hamster wheel and starting off on my journey, running down my road of life, full of change, responsibility, taking actions, and living by the truth. I stopped lying to myself and stopped living in absolute statements (always, never…..), and started seeing things for what they really are. I could watch myself grow and grow to appreciate the growth in others.
We are not what we were and we can’t keep going back to the past to define our present and future. We can take what has been learned from our past and carry it forward as lessons learned, bringing it along on the journey as knowledge, wisdom, and experience. How will you see things that are happening today if you keep looking behind you? It’s hard to run in one direction while looking in another. And it’s hard to make changes if you are not doing things differently and taking the actions to make that change happen.
I have made many mistakes of my own, and have done things in the past that I do not do now. But it is hard when what you have done in the past is all that someone sees you as today, whether it is yourself or someone else looking at you through your past actions. I hope that the changes I have made in my life now may be recognized for the woman I am today and help me to continue forward as I walk, looking ahead, at the woman I will become.